Resting Bitch Face


By the grace of God, good genes, and the work of an incredible orthodontist I am blessed with a beautiful smile. Nothing humbles me more than when someone compliments my smile, and tells me it’s brightened their day.

In addition to my smile, there’s another thing about my face that gets noticed. Something that I long felt was a Flaw.

My resting bitch face.

If you haven’t heard of resting bitch face before it is more than likely you have experienced it. It’s a mean, sullen, and of course, bitchy facial expression. This picture is an excellent example!

Sometimes resting bitch face happens when a person is zoned out. Other times it happens when a person is so zoned in on a conversation or event that they become oblivious to their facial expression.

As I began to facilitate, speak and coach I noticed the impact my resting bitch face was having on others and I knew I could no longer stay oblivious. Cause the impact was not always awesome.

For example, I’ve been in front of an audience and felt the energy of a room lower as I’ve watched faces mirror my resting bitch face back to me. Other times after listening to someone share and I would get feedback that my face had looked stern and scary.

Let me be clear: I don’t want to be scary! I want to inspire you to live the amazing life you were made for. Not scare you into it, with my unintentional facial expressions!

So I began to practice being intentional with my face. I started by noticing how my face physically felt when I was with people. And if I felt it in resting bitch face I started to practice whispering to myself, “soften”.

And some real magic started happening.

Reminding myself to “soften” softened more than my face. It also softened my heart, my mind and my spirit!

As all of me softened I became more deeply engaged. My deep engagement created moments of intimacy and vulnerability. It created moments where people transformed their beliefs, where they gained strength and courage because they felt heard and loved. My resting bitch faced created life-changing moments!

By becoming present to something I experienced as a flaw and using it as a powerful tool to shift myself, I’ve been able to create one of my most awesome assets. Could anything be more Flawsome than that?

My resting bitch face thinks not.