SPECIALNESS

 The recent rise in conversation about depression has been encouraging. Though I am NOT happy that the increase has come from more people taking their lives because of the impact of this disease. The acknowledgement that depression is a disease is encouraging.   Depression is an a chemical state in the brain. Depression is not just a mood, or a feeling that passes.    Depression is something special.    The word special is interesting. Because special detonates different, whether it's “good” or “bad”. Special denotes different, which denotes separate.    But what if that wasn't the way it was meant to be? What if specialness was not something to be ignored, or sought after? What if the things we detonate as special were just decoration in the fabric of our lives, and not the fabric itself?   What I mean by this is what would it be like for specialness not to define us? What if the idea is that we’re all special, so being special doesn’t separate us from each other but it’s actually what brings us together.    We’re all special...Together. So let's celebrate.   Perhaps if we celebrated our own specialness, and each other’s, we wouldn’t marginalize mental illness? Maybe we wouldn’t treat outward diseases more seriously than ones that metastasize on the inside, like depression? If we embraced that we’re all special, maybe more people would seek treatment for their special ailments?   Honestly I don’t know what the outcome would be of shifting how we view specialness. What I do know is that I’m willing to give this a shot in my own life because I'm committed to embracing all parts of me, and you.   I’m willing to not judge and to accept my special qualities. And I am VERY excited to do the same with your specialness! Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes to end the facade that we’re separate from each other.    Will you join me?   We are all very special people. May we use our specialness to un-separate us!

The recent rise in conversation about depression has been encouraging. Though I am NOT happy that the increase has come from more people taking their lives because of the impact of this disease. The acknowledgement that depression is a disease is encouraging. 

Depression is an a chemical state in the brain. Depression is not just a mood, or a feeling that passes. 

Depression is something special. 

The word special is interesting. Because special detonates different, whether it's “good” or “bad”. Special denotes different, which denotes separate.  

But what if that wasn't the way it was meant to be? What if specialness was not something to be ignored, or sought after? What if the things we detonate as special were just decoration in the fabric of our lives, and not the fabric itself? 

What I mean by this is what would it be like for specialness not to define us? What if the idea is that we’re all special, so being special doesn’t separate us from each other but it’s actually what brings us together. 

We’re all special...Together. So let's celebrate.

Perhaps if we celebrated our own specialness, and each other’s, we wouldn’t marginalize mental illness? Maybe we wouldn’t treat outward diseases more seriously than ones that metastasize on the inside, like depression? If we embraced that we’re all special, maybe more people would seek treatment for their special ailments? 

Honestly I don’t know what the outcome would be of shifting how we view specialness. What I do know is that I’m willing to give this a shot in my own life because I'm committed to embracing all parts of me, and you. 

I’m willing to not judge and to accept my special qualities. And I am VERY excited to do the same with your specialness! Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes to end the facade that we’re separate from each other. 

Will you join me?

We are all very special people. May we use our specialness to un-separate us!

LOOSENING UP

Screen Shot 2018-06-07 at 6.42.39 PM.png

Weeks before Burning Man 2017, I completed one of the most pressure-filled, structured, times of my life. Reflecting on an intention to  best serve my time at the Burn, I heard "to give zero f*uks". My soul said to let myself loose!

I let go of being in charge. I decompressed and surrendered. I fully loosened up. And it was epic. 

Have you ever felt the call to loosen up? 

The call has come again in my recent "funemployment". After running SUPER hard in my career (and whole life!) for 15+ years, I heard a very clear message that I needed to chill out and relax before beginning the next phase of my life. 

This freaked me out. 

Structure, goal-planning and constantly doing things has created some pretty awesome results in my life. Chilling out and letting loose didn’t immediately seem like a way to create what I most want.

Guess what? I was wrong! 

Turns out - Loosening myself up has meant loosening up the death grip I had on my expectations which has been an A+ life improvement. And an A+ life is what I truly want most. 

Loosening up what I think my productivity needs to look like has provided me much more profound experiences. Loosening up in my romantic relationships has created more fun than I’ve ever had in them. Loosening up my expectations has grown my joy!

Do I think that living loosely will be my path forever? Nope. I feel that this is a season and like all seasons it will pass when it’s time has come. 

So in the meantime I am going to continue to grow by trusting my roots are strong enough to let me flow loose for a while. I trust I wouldn’t have heard this call if this season wasn’t going to serve me, and the world.

My friends, where in your life could you benefit from loosening your expectations? Ask your soul. And if your soul suggests it, my all means please listen and loosen the F up! 

And no matter the answer may you join me in experiencing the joy that comes from listening to your soul!

RULES

IMG_0467-1.jpeg

I’m not always a fan of following rules. 

My challenge is that they make me feel confined. Limited. Stifled. Often times following rules makes me feel like I don’t have a choice. 

Ever felt that way? 

If so, you can imagine how I felt when a holistic doctor (who is helping improve my sluggish health) gave me a specific list of foods to eat, and a long list of foods to avoid. 

Rules. Very strict rules. I felt tightness in my chest as the feeling of confinement set in. And it felt flawed. 

But feeling like crap every morning, and most of the day, felt more flawed. So I had  a choice to make. 

I could choose not to follow the rules and continue not to feel anywhere near my best. Or I could choose to follow the rules and improve my health. 

I choose the latter. And then I got to decide how I would feel following these rules. And that had me look for what’s awesome about this situation... 

Only eating a limited amount of foods has been a fun exploration of culinary creativity. Eating so clean has inspired me to increase my activity level which has been awesome for my booty and my stress levels. And being in a position where I can afford this kind of healthcare has me grateful beyond words!

It hasn’t been easy as this has been a big adjustment. I’ve felt emotional. I’ve felt challenged. But when that all starts to kick in I remember that I’ve made a choice and I remind myself of why. 

We always have a choice of how we want to interact with rules. One because it is our choice to follow rules. And because it’s always, ALWAYS, our choice to decide how we want to feel while following them. 

In my case I am choosing to be happy and grateful  following these food rules because by following them I am choosing to be in excellent health (which coincidentally allows me to give more to YOU!). 

Why do you choose to follow the rules you follow? 

If you haven’t stopped to ask yourself that question, I encourage you to do so! And then let that answer shift any confined, stifled feelings you might have into a feeling of Flawsome freedom. 

Feels good doesn’t it!? 

ON THE EDGE

 Recently it's felt like I'm on an edge...an edge of the excitement of what’s coming next, and also anxiety about what’s coming next.    Ever felt like you were on a similar edge?   For me this edge has arisen from my career transition. After being in Advertising Sales since 2002, I left a month ago to begin speaking + writing full-time. Amazing plans for corporate workshops, talks in schools, books and more are in the works. I'm so excited to soar!  And also have been so anxious to fall!  This edge of anxiety and excitement reminds me of a favorite science fun fact...Physiologically we experience anxiety and excitement almost exactly the same in our bodies.   Butterflies in your belly. Your heart beating faster as cortisol surges through your veins. Your body temperature rising.    Am I describing being excited? Or being anxious?    WILD, amirite?!  Dancing on the excited/freaked-out edge has me practice keeping myself on the positive-side of my thoughts. I practice by reminding myself of the Truth, and then choosing how I want to feel.  The Truth is that I know each moment of my life has delivered me right here, right now. The Truth is that I know I've got everything I need to be successful. The Truth is that what's being done through me feels divinely purposeful. The Truth is that I am a badass mama jamma who could never completely fall 'cause when I do I always pick myself up and get back moving on UP!   Reminded of these Truths, I decide which side of the edge I want to live on. Excitement wins every time! The more I practice, the easier it becomes to stay in the positive mindset of excitement.   If you find yourself on a similar edge, please practice with me!   Notice when your body feels anxious/excited. Ask yourself for the Truth of the situation. Ask yourself if anxiety or excitement is going to be what gets you to where you want to be. And then decide which side of the edge you want to live on right now!   The power is ours to fly from our edges into amazingness. So my sweet loves, LET'S USE IT!

Recently it's felt like I'm on an edge...an edge of the excitement of what’s coming next, and also anxiety about what’s coming next. 

Ever felt like you were on a similar edge?

For me this edge has arisen from my career transition. After being in Advertising Sales since 2002, I left a month ago to begin speaking + writing full-time. Amazing plans for corporate workshops, talks in schools, books and more are in the works. I'm so excited to soar!

And also have been so anxious to fall!

This edge of anxiety and excitement reminds me of a favorite science fun fact...Physiologically we experience anxiety and excitement almost exactly the same in our bodies. 

Butterflies in your belly. Your heart beating faster as cortisol surges through your veins. Your body temperature rising. 

Am I describing being excited? Or being anxious? 

WILD, amirite?!

Dancing on the excited/freaked-out edge has me practice keeping myself on the positive-side of my thoughts. I practice by reminding myself of the Truth, and then choosing how I want to feel.

The Truth is that I know each moment of my life has delivered me right here, right now. The Truth is that I know I've got everything I need to be successful. The Truth is that what's being done through me feels divinely purposeful. The Truth is that I am a badass mama jamma who could never completely fall 'cause when I do I always pick myself up and get back moving on UP! 

Reminded of these Truths, I decide which side of the edge I want to live on. Excitement wins every time! The more I practice, the easier it becomes to stay in the positive mindset of excitement. 

If you find yourself on a similar edge, please practice with me! 

Notice when your body feels anxious/excited. Ask yourself for the Truth of the situation. Ask yourself if anxiety or excitement is going to be what gets you to where you want to be. And then decide which side of the edge you want to live on right now! 

The power is ours to fly from our edges into amazingness. So my sweet loves, LET'S USE IT!

STRONG AF

2b1eeb31-8e5b-4ace-a050-1f05ad7b9771.png

I was recently blessed to take a walk around a beautiful lake. Only downside was that it was crazy windy. To the point that I thought the wind might knock me over! As I dipped into my core strength to stay upright I heard a message: “I wanted to show you how strong you are”. 

Have you ever felt like the winds, life, the universe was trying to give you a similar message? 

Have you been up against a hard time? Have you  overcome difficulty? And in those situations did you get a chance to see how strong you are? 

(If not, let me offer you this moment to see that!)

I’ve been blessed to see my strength a lot in my life. I’ve seen my strength in being able to lead people through tumultuous times at work. I’ve seen my strength as I’ve overcome numerous health challenges. I’ve seen my strength again and again in this life. And I am grateful for my strength. It is awesome.

Yet I also see where my strength has hindered me. I’ve seen times when my strength and mind’s ability to power through has had me ignore my body’s messages that she was hurt. I’ve seen where my strength in being able too handle challenges has had me not ask for support to make those challenges easier. My strength has often overshadowed my weaknesses to the point where my strength became my weakness. 

Ain’t that some flawed shit to realize? 

In realizing this though I’ve seen an opportunity to grow. An opportunity to further allow vulnerability to be my strength. And the truly Flawsome part is that I know I can do this, because I know how strong I am. 

And my sweet loves, so are YOU.

I know because I see you still standing after all this time. I know, with every fiber of my being, that you’ll continue standing strong. 

Cause that’s just who we were made to be: STRONG AF!

OMG

5c3b13b8-443f-43b3-a8df-f128ae2e3e35.jpg

OMG! Holy Smokes! This is the 26th week I'm writing to y'all. 26 weeks...that's half a year! 

My intention of writing to you weekly is to be a consistent reminder that you are not alone. A reminder that you are enough. A reminder that you are worthy. A reminder that you were specifically, and magnificently, made just the way you are - Flawsome AF. And that because of all that you can create an amazing life! 

Over the past 26 weeks it's been remarkable to see my intention come to fruition. I've been inspired by you sharing your own stories. I've been humbled to hear of your new awarenesses and breakthroughs. And I've been impassioned to continue to elevate myself through writing to you. 

Because what's been really miraculous is that in reminding you of who you are and why you're amazing, I've also been reminding myself! There have been multiple occasions over the past 26 weeks where I've found myself in a dark spot. And in a lot of those moments I've been moved to laughter as I realized I had (usually very recently) written about the exact thing I was going through in that moment and could find encouragement in my own writings.  

What a blessing it is to give, to others and to myself, through this process! 

As I continue to write over the next 26 weeks (and into infinity!), I have a request for YOU. Please let me know what would like me to write about! What do you feel would be valuable for me to share with you? Are there topics you wish I would write about? Are there topics you would like me to revisit and dive deeper into? 

How can I best serve YOU?

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone got up every day and lived in the question, "How can I best serve"? I imagine it would look like a world filled with abundance, laughter, mercy, compassion, joy, peace and HAPPINESS. 

Thank you for allowing me to do my part to bring that kind of world into our reality. I am eternally grateful and honored to serve YOU. 
 

SHARING IS CARING

 My high school mascot was a Jester (it was an all-girl's school). Our student handbook described the Jester as a symbol of Christ’s passion - someone who is willing to take on suffering to bring joy.   Like everyone, I’ve had challenging experiences...failures, heartbreaks, let-downs. For a long time I didn’t want to share my challenging experiences because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And I for sure didn’t want to be seen as Flawed because of them.  But what’s Awesome is that when I’m vulnerable and share my stories, I see them impact other’s lives for the better. Which makes me feel like a big part of why we go through challenging times is so that our experiences can be of service to others.    Have you gone through a challenging circumstance? Are you going through one right now?   Is it possible for you to see where this challenge is here for you not only to grow yourself, but also to grow the world around you? Is it possible that if you let others know what you've been through that they will be inspired to know they can also make it through their challenges? Can you see where if others know what you’re going through, they might recognize themselves in you and know that they aren’t alone in their struggles?    Are you willing to be uncomfortable and share yourself so others will be lifted up?    Cause here’s the REALLY juicy part...when we give to others we are also giving to ourselves! When you are inspiring other people, you are standing in inspiration yourself so it has no choice but to get all over you too. When someone sees themselves in you, you also have the chance to see yourself in them and know YOU are not alone. Literally, everyone wins!   So will you please join me in living a Flawsome, Jester-inspired, life? Will you join me in sharing your stories, even if it feels painful to do so, because then there will be more joy in the world?  Trust me, if I can do it -  SO CAN YOU ! And I can't wait to see what we create together.   

My high school mascot was a Jester (it was an all-girl's school). Our student handbook described the Jester as a symbol of Christ’s passion - someone who is willing to take on suffering to bring joy. 

Like everyone, I’ve had challenging experiences...failures, heartbreaks, let-downs. For a long time I didn’t want to share my challenging experiences because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And I for sure didn’t want to be seen as Flawed because of them.

But what’s Awesome is that when I’m vulnerable and share my stories, I see them impact other’s lives for the better. Which makes me feel like a big part of why we go through challenging times is so that our experiences can be of service to others. 

Have you gone through a challenging circumstance? Are you going through one right now?

Is it possible for you to see where this challenge is here for you not only to grow yourself, but also to grow the world around you? Is it possible that if you let others know what you've been through that they will be inspired to know they can also make it through their challenges? Can you see where if others know what you’re going through, they might recognize themselves in you and know that they aren’t alone in their struggles? 

Are you willing to be uncomfortable and share yourself so others will be lifted up? 

Cause here’s the REALLY juicy part...when we give to others we are also giving to ourselves! When you are inspiring other people, you are standing in inspiration yourself so it has no choice but to get all over you too. When someone sees themselves in you, you also have the chance to see yourself in them and know YOU are not alone. Literally, everyone wins! 

So will you please join me in living a Flawsome, Jester-inspired, life? Will you join me in sharing your stories, even if it feels painful to do so, because then there will be more joy in the world?

Trust me, if I can do it - SO CAN YOU! And I can't wait to see what we create together. 
 

COMING TOGETHER

IMG_2482.JPG

In 1986 my family participated in Hands Across America. Hands Across America was a benefit event in which 6.5 million people held hands to form a human chain for 15 minutes along a path across the continental US. The proceeds from the event were donated to local charities to fight hunger and homelessness and help those in poverty. 

My Mom (the hottie with me in this picture!) recently shared this picture with me and it got me thinking about what Hands Across America might look like in 2018. Would we be able to come together and hold hands now given the divides that separate our country? 

Division often feels like a Flaw to me. Division in our society over cultural differences. Division in our families over differing opinions. Division in our individual relationships because of changing sensibilities. Even division within ourselves over what we want, and how we might act contrary to those wants. Division is seemingly everywhere.

But in the midst of all this division there is the Awesome possibility of coming together. Because of division there is an opportunity to listen deeper to each other, and to ourselves. To listen deeply for the similarities that bring us together in a way that might not be possible if it weren't for the Flaw of the division. 

If we can let go of our attachment to what divides us in favor of openness to what connects us...well that's some Flawsome living if I've ever heard of it!

What might be possible when we come together? Could we put an end to hunger? Could we create peace? Could we save lives? Could we be truly happy? What can we do when we do it together?

Today I humbly ask you to think about where this applies in your own life. Who can you come together with, because of your differences and not just despite them? And what might happen when you do?

I know this isn't necessarily an easy ask. It takes courage, humility, honesty and commitment to listen deeply. But I promise you all of that is inside each one of us. So let's use it! 

Cause I know this much to be True - WE are the ones who are here to change the world. So let us start with each other! 

 

You Are A Universe

IMG_0232-1 copy.jpeg

“Stop playing so small you are the universe in ecstatic motion.” ~ Rumi. This is one of my favorite sayings because it serves as a reminder of the Truth. 

Did you know that humans and stars are made of the same stuff? Not in a hippie woo-woo way. No, as in real-life science shows that we literally contain the same essential matter as the Milky Way (read about it here!). 

And like zillions of stars make up the galaxies, zillions of cells make up your body. There is literally an entire universe inside of YOU! 

Yet if you’re like me, sometimes all this massiveness can make youfeel small. Make you feel like you’re ineffectual. Make you feel like youand your gifts don’t matter. “The world is so big, what's the point of my effort?” Has that thought ever passed by you?

Feeling and playing small creates sadness and lack of motivation. It saps the inspiration out of life. It creates broken dreams and broken promises of people who don’t think they matter. I know because I've seen it in my life. I've seen it in the people I've coached and trained. And I've seen it in the eyes of countless strangers. 


Well my friends, I'm here with a Flawsome update to this thought! 

Yes the entire universe is massive, and you might seem to be a “small” part of it. But take a moment to imagine the size of the universe. Now pause, take a breath and comprehend that all the parts that make up who you are number GREATER than all the stars. By at least 800 billion. (Seriously, read about it here!)

 

That’s real life science folks! Here as a reminder that there is an entire UNIVERSE inside of YOU!!

You are not small, you are truly massive.

You are not ineffectual, you are truly the universe in ecstatic motion. 

 

So this week, and every day, may we all accept our Flawsome massiveness. And let it inspire us to light us up like the stars light up the sky. Because that my loves, is who YOU are made to BE ⭐️

YES to NO

1*u4mHgBTzTWlvrV0pynBjEA.jpg

Humans make almost a million decisions in their lives. In all that decision-making often times you get to say No. Does that ever feel like a challenge for you?

It definitely has for me because saying No kicks up a fear of hurting others. I’ve been afraid that by saying No I will damage my relationships. But I gotta tell you, the relationship I’ve caused the most damage to in all this has been my relationship with myself.

Because when I’ve not said No out of fear of hurting others the side-effect has often been me saying No to my own wants, needs and dreams. And then I beat myself up, and I don’t feel happy doing any of the things. Have you felt this way?

One day I got asked a life-changing, brilliant, question: What if every No I said, was actually a Yes to something else?

The question hit me right in the heart, so I started using this as a regular practice. Asking myself what I am saying Yes to when I say No.

I’ve said No to spending time with my family and Yes to advancing my career and building an empire. I’ve said No to being with my friends because I was saying Yes to coaching leadership teams that were committed to massive world change. I’ve said No to going out and being social, because I was saying Yes to staying in and taking care of my health so I could give from a full cup.

What’s funny is that as I wrote these examples I thought of times when I’ve been in the same situations and actually chosen in the opposite direction! Because the shift hasn’t been so much in what I say No to or Yes to, the shift has been dramatic in the way I feel when I make my choices.

I’ve gone from the dis-empowering feeling of making choices out of fear, to the powerful ownership I feel from making choices out love and vision. When I make a choice based on my values and what’s important to me in that moment, the game changes. My fears of what could go wrong are lessened and my dreams of what could go right expand.

I encourage you to be in this practice with me. Because a world where everyone makes choices from a place of love and vision sounds like the kind of world we all deserve to be living in!

Riding Waves

1*6lMKVjVGs-dijTPEQoZIhw.png

I was watching the ocean this week and was reminded of a common recurring theme in my dreams: Waves.

For several years I’ve dreamt of getting caught in waves. Not small, manageable waves either. No, they’ve mostly been ginormous walls of water that I couldn’t believe were coming straight at me!

I’ve most often experienced wave dreams when I am stressed. And the more stress I was experiencing, the bigger, higher, deeper, more treacherous the waves.

Just like how real life can feel, right?

While it’s felt like a Flaw to have these wave nightmares as I reflected this week I saw them in a new, Flawsome, light. Because what’s been Awesome about these dreams is how I’ve managed to ride the waves.

I’ve had dreams where I swam from the bottom of the ocean, straight to the top of a giant mountain of wave water like a brave-ass mermaid on a mission! In those scary moments when it felt like the wave might eat me alive, something inside me has always known I could make my way out of the waves and back to safety of the shore.

Again, just like how it is in real life.

Imagine all the waves you have ridden in your time on Earth. Waves of work stress, health challenges, personal heartbreak, family drama…you’ve ridden countless waves. Heck, you might currently be riding a wave!

And in this moment I encourage you to remember how you’ve made it back to the shore after EVERY wave! How do I know this is true? Cause you’re still here…Still swimming to see another day!

So I invite you to acknowledge yourself. Acknowledge yourself for being brave and continuing to play in the waters. Even when you know being swept up in a giant wave is a possibility. It’s because of your bravery that miracles are happening every day in this world.

You’ve got this, wave warrior!

My Friend Cherry

1*z2ag-JGhRJeqj5U0LgmHrA.png

I’ve talked a lot about the ego voice in my head and I realized that I hadn’t properly introduced her. Her name is Cherry.

I was inspired to name her after a friend shared her ego’s voice sounded like a man, and was named Oscar. I was jealous! The voice in my head sounded like my regular voice so it was tough to know when it was my Truth speaking, or my ego.

I felt that naming my ego would be helpful to get to know her, and her voice, better. After months of wondering what to name her one day I heard “My name is Cherry”.

Since Cherry introduced herself I have gotten to know her more deeply, especially her motivations. What motivates Cherry is Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of not being enough, fear of being abandoned…Cherry runs on Fear.

Have you noticed this with your ego too?

You probably have because the beautiful thing about our egos is that their primary motivation is to keep us safe. Our egos have seen us get hurt and want to do whatever they can to stop it from happening again.

Trouble is that growth rarely comes out of safety, and results definitely don’t come from not risking. So while our egos may try everything they can to keep us safe, following their guidance is a surefire way to stay stuck. Stuck in relationships. Stuck in feelings. Stuck in stuck-ness.

On my mission to grow, I have no time for stuck-ness. And I recognize how hard this is for Cherry. So I’ve begun to acknowledge her for all she does, and has done, to keep us safe. I remind her of what she’s gotten us through, and promise her that we’ll make it through what comes next. She doesn’t need to worry, her hard work has already paid off!

Sure it can feel crazy to relate to the voice in my head by another name. But it also feels important. Because while my ego is separate from me, she’s also part of me. And like all parts of me, I am committed to loving her.

What might it look like to get to know and understand your ego? What would your life feel like if you befriended your ego?

For me, it’s been game changing. As my ego’s been able to loosen up on her fears, I’ve been able to grow with more grace into the Flawsome woman I was intended to be.

And that is just the best. For me and for Cherry!

Rinsing Off

1*mR51Kj9OUaKwhgtOh0RCKg.jpg

Tirta Empul in Bali is a Hindu temple famous for its holy spring water and purification ritual which rinses away energies, thoughts or emotions that don’t serve you.

The first step of the ritual was to pray. Then rinse your face 3 times, drink & spit out water 3 times, say “Thank You”, and then dip down under the spout for one final rinse. You were then to repeat these steps under multiple water spouts, each of which were meant to cleanse specific areas of your life, all while cleansing your body, mind and spirit.

Thinking of what prayer to say, I heard in my heart an ol’ favorite, “Rinse me of myself, I belong to You.”

Often I can become filled with things that aren’t me. Resentment, grief, anger, gluttony, shame, all my “flaws” can all fill me up. They can start to feel like they are who I am. But I know in my in my soul that they are NOT who I am.

And they are NOT who you are either.

Living life as a human means experiencing a wide array of emotions and feelings. The real magic of life though can be found in realizing that we aren’t actually our emotions or feelings. They’re what we’re experiencing.

Who we actually are, what we actually belong to, is Love.

In our daily lives it can be really easy to forget that though. Our feelings and emotions can feel so strong that it can seem like they are taking over our lives. So it’s important to pause, notice if this is happening, and rinse away from ourselves anything that is not who we truly are.

Maybe it’s rinsing yourself of feelings that are stuck from past events. Rinsing yourself of thoughts that aren’t for your highest benefit. Rinsing yourself of anything and everything that is not who you really are. Which again, for the permanent record, is Pure Love.

Now while I’d love to head off to Bali every time I feel the need to rinse off, that just ain’t feasible. So instead I imagine rinsing myself off in my mind. And I invite you to join me.

Join me in rinsing off all that you aren’t so that you can more fully be who you are and whose you are: PURE AMAZING FLAWSOMELY BEAUTIFUL LOVE!

I Am Worthy

1*YA3qIxo101b9sGLXbhF67g.jpg

I’ve mentioned a few times now all the changes I’ve been going through in my life. What’s awesome is that these changes all feel like they’re elevating me to new levels of abundance!

So what could possibly feel flawed in that you might ask? The flaw has come from one of my old familiar conversations: knowing I am WORTHY of all the good things in my life.

My relationship with my worth has been an ongoing source of growth over the past few years. When I think of all the progress I’ve made in owning my worth I could just melt right here in a giant puddle of proud tears!

But I’d be lying to you if I said reminding myself of my worth wasn’t a near-daily practice for me. I’d be lying if I said that sometimes when something awesome/magical/blissful happens that the little voice inside my head doesn’t say something along the lines of “Girl, you don’t deserve that/this/them”.

And I want you to know something: THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH.

The Truth, with a capital T, is that I am worthy of and deserve my life. I’m worthy because of my “flaws”. I’m worthy because of my “awesome”. I am worthy simply because I exist in this world.

And my sweet friends, SO ARE YOU. I’m here to remind you that you are worthy of every gift bestowed upon you. You are worthy of every blessing you’ve received and will receive. Because you’re here to receive them. That’s all the proof of our worth we need.

I Am Worthy. You Are Worthy. We Are Worthy.

And THAT is THAT!

Forward

1*nc5-3QBnygv_MZdPXruEoA.jpg

I am currently in a time of change. Changes in my relationships, career, home, health…there are legit changes happening in every area of my life!

And all this change has had me looking back to the past for comfort.

I always love filling myself with happy memories and re-experiencing good times from the past. However I’ve noticed recently that even reliving memories I don’t particularly like feels comforting because I already know what happened!

Shitty memories saving me from feeling uncomfortable about an unknown future? That sounds ridiculous! So I’m choosing a different path.

I’m choosing to look forward because even if the future might feel scary (because it’s unknown and I’m the type of personality who likes to know everything), it’s where I am headed. And the best way to get to the future safely, is to be present now and keep my eyes forward.

Right now in this moment, will you join me? Feel your feet planted where they are, now take a deep breath. Guess what? You’re already in a new moment. You’re already in the future! And you are still alive. Well done!

When we can keep reminding ourselves to be where we are, without even needing to try, we will be propelled into each moment that is to come. When I think of the future simply as each new moment ahead of me, it’s a lot less scary and life feels a whole lot more Flawsome.

Little You, Part 2

1*9M_boZzCZ8NGjOqqRXDF_A.png

Last week I shared a practice of using a picture of yourself as a little kid to support in shifting how you speak to yourself. From people sharing their pictures to folks letting me know how this practice is impacting their lives for the better, your response has been inspiring!

One friend shared a take-away so profound I couldn’t wait to share it! My friend looked at her little self and in addition to asking how that little girl would treat herself she also asked “how would this little girl treat others?”. WHOA. Talk about a game-changing tool for how to interact with the world!

I am deeply committed to creating a loving relationship with myself and inspiring others to do the same. The reason why I am so committed to this vision is not simply for myself though. The reason why I care about the relationship humans have with themselves is because I believe that relationship has everything to do with the way they love others.

I believe, and research confirms, that the more we love & accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to love & accept others. As I love myself, I can love you, and you can do the same with others in your life and so on and on. I believe this is how we’ll create the heaven on Earth that is promised by all great prophets.

To practice this way of life you can either physically look at a picture of your little self, or just get a picture in your mind, and ask “how would this little one treat others?”. Would they ignore them? Degrade them? Curse their name? Or would they be kind? Be compassionately curious to know their stories? Love them for who and what they are?

If your little self is/was like my little self, and I bet they were, the answer is that our little selves would be so filled with love that they would be kind, compassionate and loving to EVERYONE. So let us follow their lead and treat each other the best we possibly can.

The world (which includes YOU) deserves it!

Little You

1*FOdhvAXXboLKy6yHzFd-Jg.jpg

This is my phone screensaver and that’s me circa 4-years old. How freaking cute am I?!

I began using pictures of me as a little kid for my screensaver several years back at the suggestion of my dear friend and wonder-coach Stephanie Kwong. Steph’s advice was to use the picture to remind me to talk to myself the way I would talk to this little girl.

Little girl Rebecca was so funny, sweet, and charming. She was the life of the party and made everyone around her feel special and loved. A true lil’ earth angel. She deserves to be treated with the utmost kindness, love and respect.

When I notice the voice in my head is not being kind, loving or respectful I use this picture to help me shift it. And it’s been an incredible tool!

When I notice the voice inside is being mean, I take a look at this cutie and ask “does she deserve to be treated this way?”. No she does not, and neither do I! So I interrupt the voice and shift it to be kind, loving and respectful. With (lots of) practice it’s become easier and easier to shift the voice from beat-up, to love-up.

Have you ever paid attention to the way that you’re talking to yourself? Is it the way you’d let someone speak to a child? Now imagine the child is you…would you want anyone speak to little YOU like that?

If the answer is No, like I have often experienced it to be, then I encourage you to chose to shift. Take a breath, imagine your precious little child self and remember you are doing your Flawsome best, so be kind. You AND Little You deserve it!

Letting Go

1*VDYqQeJE14D2RgYEhyOD4Q.jpg

I am purging my home using author Marie Kondo’s method as a guide. The intention of this method is to live a joy-filled life. To achieve this you hold every item in your home and ask “does this spark joy?”. If the answer is yes, the item stays. If the answer is no, the item gets passed onward. You know how amazing joy feels. Now imagine how rare it can feel. Sparking joy is a high benchmark.

The awesome part is that you’re left with items that make you feel super pumped. What has felt flawed in this process has been the pain of letting go of some of these possessions.

*Side note: It’s not lost on me that I’m talking about having a ton of things when there are people in this world with nothing. “Thank You”, is my most consistent prayer.*

I noticed that there were items that did not spark joy but that I was still very attached to. Most often these attachments were coming from the past, specifically from memories of the past. My fear tells me letting go of these items, could mean losing the memories I have associated with them.

In the past, my fear of letting go of an item would talk me into keeping it. Using joy as a benchmark ups the game. You can’t let your fear overpower your joy. Your joy trumps all. So using my joy as a guide, I applied some Flawsome and decided to use my fear to create joy.

When the fear of losing a memory comes up, I think about how deeply a part of me my memories are. The lessons I learned in these memories are what make up who I am in my life today. They helped me grow, they changed the way I am, they are embedded in my heart, and in my beingness. When I acknowledge how I embody these memories, I realize I don’t need physical items to remember them. And that creates joy.

While I am applying this to physical items, this is a practice with applications all throughout our lives. You can apply it to things, people, practices and thoughts. Asking yourself, “does this spark joy”?

And then being willing to work with whatever Fear comes from the answer is a Flawsome, joy-filled way to live!

On The Daily

1*Ic2dMPLxUN7CZr9gdhwJ-g.jpg

This picture, from the inside of my medicine cabinet, is of a daily forgiveness practice (along with reminders that me and my inner-monster are beautiful).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times again: the freedom of forgiveness is awesome. So there are few things that can feel quite as flawed as when pain from a previously forgiven wound comes back!

Has that ever happened to you? That an old wound you thought was all healed up, shows back up and hurts all over again? I, for one, am not a fan.

A few years back when I was in a significant spiritual and emotional growth spurt I noticed I had lots of old wounds coming back to the surface. Frustrated, I consulted Google. The uncontested winner I found on how to create sustained forgiveness was to be in a daily forgiveness practice.

After exploring lots of practices I fell in love with this one which was based on an ancient Hawaiian ritual. I loved that the practice was designed to be used day and night, to rinse you off at the start and end of each day.

And then a spark of genius came! I realized I already had a well-established morning and nightly ritual: brushing my teeth. By putting these prayers up in my medicine cabinet, where my tooth brush lives, I was much more likely to say them.

After months of saying these prayers daily my heart became stronger and I felt like more of who I was made to be. Because that is the real gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness takes away fear, anger and hurt…it rinses away everything that is not the love we were made to be.

In complete honesty, over the years I have come in and out of this being a daily practice. Recently I noticed I had fallen back out. How did I notice? Oh because I’ve had all sorts of old stuff come back up that needs to be forgiven. Sur-prise!

So I am committing to you, my loves, that being the Flawsome Queen I am, I’m taking charge. I am choosing to take what I could see as a flaw (having stuff to work through and forgive) and make it an awesome reason to get back to practicing flexing my daily forgiveness muscles!

Will you join me? Let’s see how happy our lives can become as we rinse our hearts, and our teeth, on the daily!

Resting Bitch Face

1*0JXDP5jKvx4en_98HokwOw.png

By the grace of God, good genes, and the work of an incredible orthodontist I am blessed with a beautiful smile. Nothing humbles me more than when someone compliments my smile, and tells me it’s brightened their day.

In addition to my smile, there’s another thing about my face that gets noticed. Something that I long felt was a Flaw.

My resting bitch face.

If you haven’t heard of resting bitch face before it is more than likely you have experienced it. It’s a mean, sullen, and of course, bitchy facial expression. This picture is an excellent example!

Sometimes resting bitch face happens when a person is zoned out. Other times it happens when a person is so zoned in on a conversation or event that they become oblivious to their facial expression.

As I began to facilitate, speak and coach I noticed the impact my resting bitch face was having on others and I knew I could no longer stay oblivious. Cause the impact was not always awesome.

For example, I’ve been in front of an audience and felt the energy of a room lower as I’ve watched faces mirror my resting bitch face back to me. Other times after listening to someone share and I would get feedback that my face had looked stern and scary.

Let me be clear: I don’t want to be scary! I want to inspire you to live the amazing life you were made for. Not scare you into it, with my unintentional facial expressions!

So I began to practice being intentional with my face. I started by noticing how my face physically felt when I was with people. And if I felt it in resting bitch face I started to practice whispering to myself, “soften”.

And some real magic started happening.

Reminding myself to “soften” softened more than my face. It also softened my heart, my mind and my spirit!

As all of me softened I became more deeply engaged. My deep engagement created moments of intimacy and vulnerability. It created moments where people transformed their beliefs, where they gained strength and courage because they felt heard and loved. My resting bitch faced created life-changing moments!

By becoming present to something I experienced as a flaw and using it as a powerful tool to shift myself, I’ve been able to create one of my most awesome assets. Could anything be more Flawsome than that?

My resting bitch face thinks not.