COMING TOGETHER

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In 1986 my family participated in Hands Across America. Hands Across America was a benefit event in which 6.5 million people held hands to form a human chain for 15 minutes along a path across the continental US. The proceeds from the event were donated to local charities to fight hunger and homelessness and help those in poverty. 

My Mom (the hottie with me in this picture!) recently shared this picture with me and it got me thinking about what Hands Across America might look like in 2018. Would we be able to come together and hold hands now given the divides that separate our country? 

Division often feels like a Flaw to me. Division in our society over cultural differences. Division in our families over differing opinions. Division in our individual relationships because of changing sensibilities. Even division within ourselves over what we want, and how we might act contrary to those wants. Division is seemingly everywhere.

But in the midst of all this division there is the Awesome possibility of coming together. Because of division there is an opportunity to listen deeper to each other, and to ourselves. To listen deeply for the similarities that bring us together in a way that might not be possible if it weren't for the Flaw of the division. 

If we can let go of our attachment to what divides us in favor of openness to what connects us...well that's some Flawsome living if I've ever heard of it!

What might be possible when we come together? Could we put an end to hunger? Could we create peace? Could we save lives? Could we be truly happy? What can we do when we do it together?

Today I humbly ask you to think about where this applies in your own life. Who can you come together with, because of your differences and not just despite them? And what might happen when you do?

I know this isn't necessarily an easy ask. It takes courage, humility, honesty and commitment to listen deeply. But I promise you all of that is inside each one of us. So let's use it! 

Cause I know this much to be True - WE are the ones who are here to change the world. So let us start with each other! 

 

You Are A Universe

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“Stop playing so small you are the universe in ecstatic motion.” ~ Rumi. This is one of my favorite sayings because it serves as a reminder of the Truth. 

Did you know that humans and stars are made of the same stuff? Not in a hippie woo-woo way. No, as in real-life science shows that we literally contain the same essential matter as the Milky Way (read about it here!). 

And like zillions of stars make up the galaxies, zillions of cells make up your body. There is literally an entire universe inside of YOU! 

Yet if you’re like me, sometimes all this massiveness can make youfeel small. Make you feel like you’re ineffectual. Make you feel like youand your gifts don’t matter. “The world is so big, what's the point of my effort?” Has that thought ever passed by you?

Feeling and playing small creates sadness and lack of motivation. It saps the inspiration out of life. It creates broken dreams and broken promises of people who don’t think they matter. I know because I've seen it in my life. I've seen it in the people I've coached and trained. And I've seen it in the eyes of countless strangers. 


Well my friends, I'm here with a Flawsome update to this thought! 

Yes the entire universe is massive, and you might seem to be a “small” part of it. But take a moment to imagine the size of the universe. Now pause, take a breath and comprehend that all the parts that make up who you are number GREATER than all the stars. By at least 800 billion. (Seriously, read about it here!)

 

That’s real life science folks! Here as a reminder that there is an entire UNIVERSE inside of YOU!!

You are not small, you are truly massive.

You are not ineffectual, you are truly the universe in ecstatic motion. 

 

So this week, and every day, may we all accept our Flawsome massiveness. And let it inspire us to light us up like the stars light up the sky. Because that my loves, is who YOU are made to BE ⭐️

YES to NO

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Humans make almost a million decisions in their lives. In all that decision-making often times you get to say No. Does that ever feel like a challenge for you?

It definitely has for me because saying No kicks up a fear of hurting others. I’ve been afraid that by saying No I will damage my relationships. But I gotta tell you, the relationship I’ve caused the most damage to in all this has been my relationship with myself.

Because when I’ve not said No out of fear of hurting others the side-effect has often been me saying No to my own wants, needs and dreams. And then I beat myself up, and I don’t feel happy doing any of the things. Have you felt this way?

One day I got asked a life-changing, brilliant, question: What if every No I said, was actually a Yes to something else?

The question hit me right in the heart, so I started using this as a regular practice. Asking myself what I am saying Yes to when I say No.

I’ve said No to spending time with my family and Yes to advancing my career and building an empire. I’ve said No to being with my friends because I was saying Yes to coaching leadership teams that were committed to massive world change. I’ve said No to going out and being social, because I was saying Yes to staying in and taking care of my health so I could give from a full cup.

What’s funny is that as I wrote these examples I thought of times when I’ve been in the same situations and actually chosen in the opposite direction! Because the shift hasn’t been so much in what I say No to or Yes to, the shift has been dramatic in the way I feel when I make my choices.

I’ve gone from the dis-empowering feeling of making choices out of fear, to the powerful ownership I feel from making choices out love and vision. When I make a choice based on my values and what’s important to me in that moment, the game changes. My fears of what could go wrong are lessened and my dreams of what could go right expand.

I encourage you to be in this practice with me. Because a world where everyone makes choices from a place of love and vision sounds like the kind of world we all deserve to be living in!

Riding Waves

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I was watching the ocean this week and was reminded of a common recurring theme in my dreams: Waves.

For several years I’ve dreamt of getting caught in waves. Not small, manageable waves either. No, they’ve mostly been ginormous walls of water that I couldn’t believe were coming straight at me!

I’ve most often experienced wave dreams when I am stressed. And the more stress I was experiencing, the bigger, higher, deeper, more treacherous the waves.

Just like how real life can feel, right?

While it’s felt like a Flaw to have these wave nightmares as I reflected this week I saw them in a new, Flawsome, light. Because what’s been Awesome about these dreams is how I’ve managed to ride the waves.

I’ve had dreams where I swam from the bottom of the ocean, straight to the top of a giant mountain of wave water like a brave-ass mermaid on a mission! In those scary moments when it felt like the wave might eat me alive, something inside me has always known I could make my way out of the waves and back to safety of the shore.

Again, just like how it is in real life.

Imagine all the waves you have ridden in your time on Earth. Waves of work stress, health challenges, personal heartbreak, family drama…you’ve ridden countless waves. Heck, you might currently be riding a wave!

And in this moment I encourage you to remember how you’ve made it back to the shore after EVERY wave! How do I know this is true? Cause you’re still here…Still swimming to see another day!

So I invite you to acknowledge yourself. Acknowledge yourself for being brave and continuing to play in the waters. Even when you know being swept up in a giant wave is a possibility. It’s because of your bravery that miracles are happening every day in this world.

You’ve got this, wave warrior!

My Friend Cherry

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I’ve talked a lot about the ego voice in my head and I realized that I hadn’t properly introduced her. Her name is Cherry.

I was inspired to name her after a friend shared her ego’s voice sounded like a man, and was named Oscar. I was jealous! The voice in my head sounded like my regular voice so it was tough to know when it was my Truth speaking, or my ego.

I felt that naming my ego would be helpful to get to know her, and her voice, better. After months of wondering what to name her one day I heard “My name is Cherry”.

Since Cherry introduced herself I have gotten to know her more deeply, especially her motivations. What motivates Cherry is Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of not being enough, fear of being abandoned…Cherry runs on Fear.

Have you noticed this with your ego too?

You probably have because the beautiful thing about our egos is that their primary motivation is to keep us safe. Our egos have seen us get hurt and want to do whatever they can to stop it from happening again.

Trouble is that growth rarely comes out of safety, and results definitely don’t come from not risking. So while our egos may try everything they can to keep us safe, following their guidance is a surefire way to stay stuck. Stuck in relationships. Stuck in feelings. Stuck in stuck-ness.

On my mission to grow, I have no time for stuck-ness. And I recognize how hard this is for Cherry. So I’ve begun to acknowledge her for all she does, and has done, to keep us safe. I remind her of what she’s gotten us through, and promise her that we’ll make it through what comes next. She doesn’t need to worry, her hard work has already paid off!

Sure it can feel crazy to relate to the voice in my head by another name. But it also feels important. Because while my ego is separate from me, she’s also part of me. And like all parts of me, I am committed to loving her.

What might it look like to get to know and understand your ego? What would your life feel like if you befriended your ego?

For me, it’s been game changing. As my ego’s been able to loosen up on her fears, I’ve been able to grow with more grace into the Flawsome woman I was intended to be.

And that is just the best. For me and for Cherry!

Rinsing Off

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Tirta Empul in Bali is a Hindu temple famous for its holy spring water and purification ritual which rinses away energies, thoughts or emotions that don’t serve you.

The first step of the ritual was to pray. Then rinse your face 3 times, drink & spit out water 3 times, say “Thank You”, and then dip down under the spout for one final rinse. You were then to repeat these steps under multiple water spouts, each of which were meant to cleanse specific areas of your life, all while cleansing your body, mind and spirit.

Thinking of what prayer to say, I heard in my heart an ol’ favorite, “Rinse me of myself, I belong to You.”

Often I can become filled with things that aren’t me. Resentment, grief, anger, gluttony, shame, all my “flaws” can all fill me up. They can start to feel like they are who I am. But I know in my in my soul that they are NOT who I am.

And they are NOT who you are either.

Living life as a human means experiencing a wide array of emotions and feelings. The real magic of life though can be found in realizing that we aren’t actually our emotions or feelings. They’re what we’re experiencing.

Who we actually are, what we actually belong to, is Love.

In our daily lives it can be really easy to forget that though. Our feelings and emotions can feel so strong that it can seem like they are taking over our lives. So it’s important to pause, notice if this is happening, and rinse away from ourselves anything that is not who we truly are.

Maybe it’s rinsing yourself of feelings that are stuck from past events. Rinsing yourself of thoughts that aren’t for your highest benefit. Rinsing yourself of anything and everything that is not who you really are. Which again, for the permanent record, is Pure Love.

Now while I’d love to head off to Bali every time I feel the need to rinse off, that just ain’t feasible. So instead I imagine rinsing myself off in my mind. And I invite you to join me.

Join me in rinsing off all that you aren’t so that you can more fully be who you are and whose you are: PURE AMAZING FLAWSOMELY BEAUTIFUL LOVE!

I Am Worthy

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I’ve mentioned a few times now all the changes I’ve been going through in my life. What’s awesome is that these changes all feel like they’re elevating me to new levels of abundance!

So what could possibly feel flawed in that you might ask? The flaw has come from one of my old familiar conversations: knowing I am WORTHY of all the good things in my life.

My relationship with my worth has been an ongoing source of growth over the past few years. When I think of all the progress I’ve made in owning my worth I could just melt right here in a giant puddle of proud tears!

But I’d be lying to you if I said reminding myself of my worth wasn’t a near-daily practice for me. I’d be lying if I said that sometimes when something awesome/magical/blissful happens that the little voice inside my head doesn’t say something along the lines of “Girl, you don’t deserve that/this/them”.

And I want you to know something: THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH.

The Truth, with a capital T, is that I am worthy of and deserve my life. I’m worthy because of my “flaws”. I’m worthy because of my “awesome”. I am worthy simply because I exist in this world.

And my sweet friends, SO ARE YOU. I’m here to remind you that you are worthy of every gift bestowed upon you. You are worthy of every blessing you’ve received and will receive. Because you’re here to receive them. That’s all the proof of our worth we need.

I Am Worthy. You Are Worthy. We Are Worthy.

And THAT is THAT!

Forward

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I am currently in a time of change. Changes in my relationships, career, home, health…there are legit changes happening in every area of my life!

And all this change has had me looking back to the past for comfort.

I always love filling myself with happy memories and re-experiencing good times from the past. However I’ve noticed recently that even reliving memories I don’t particularly like feels comforting because I already know what happened!

Shitty memories saving me from feeling uncomfortable about an unknown future? That sounds ridiculous! So I’m choosing a different path.

I’m choosing to look forward because even if the future might feel scary (because it’s unknown and I’m the type of personality who likes to know everything), it’s where I am headed. And the best way to get to the future safely, is to be present now and keep my eyes forward.

Right now in this moment, will you join me? Feel your feet planted where they are, now take a deep breath. Guess what? You’re already in a new moment. You’re already in the future! And you are still alive. Well done!

When we can keep reminding ourselves to be where we are, without even needing to try, we will be propelled into each moment that is to come. When I think of the future simply as each new moment ahead of me, it’s a lot less scary and life feels a whole lot more Flawsome.

Little You, Part 2

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Last week I shared a practice of using a picture of yourself as a little kid to support in shifting how you speak to yourself. From people sharing their pictures to folks letting me know how this practice is impacting their lives for the better, your response has been inspiring!

One friend shared a take-away so profound I couldn’t wait to share it! My friend looked at her little self and in addition to asking how that little girl would treat herself she also asked “how would this little girl treat others?”. WHOA. Talk about a game-changing tool for how to interact with the world!

I am deeply committed to creating a loving relationship with myself and inspiring others to do the same. The reason why I am so committed to this vision is not simply for myself though. The reason why I care about the relationship humans have with themselves is because I believe that relationship has everything to do with the way they love others.

I believe, and research confirms, that the more we love & accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to love & accept others. As I love myself, I can love you, and you can do the same with others in your life and so on and on. I believe this is how we’ll create the heaven on Earth that is promised by all great prophets.

To practice this way of life you can either physically look at a picture of your little self, or just get a picture in your mind, and ask “how would this little one treat others?”. Would they ignore them? Degrade them? Curse their name? Or would they be kind? Be compassionately curious to know their stories? Love them for who and what they are?

If your little self is/was like my little self, and I bet they were, the answer is that our little selves would be so filled with love that they would be kind, compassionate and loving to EVERYONE. So let us follow their lead and treat each other the best we possibly can.

The world (which includes YOU) deserves it!

Little You

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This is my phone screensaver and that’s me circa 4-years old. How freaking cute am I?!

I began using pictures of me as a little kid for my screensaver several years back at the suggestion of my dear friend and wonder-coach Stephanie Kwong. Steph’s advice was to use the picture to remind me to talk to myself the way I would talk to this little girl.

Little girl Rebecca was so funny, sweet, and charming. She was the life of the party and made everyone around her feel special and loved. A true lil’ earth angel. She deserves to be treated with the utmost kindness, love and respect.

When I notice the voice in my head is not being kind, loving or respectful I use this picture to help me shift it. And it’s been an incredible tool!

When I notice the voice inside is being mean, I take a look at this cutie and ask “does she deserve to be treated this way?”. No she does not, and neither do I! So I interrupt the voice and shift it to be kind, loving and respectful. With (lots of) practice it’s become easier and easier to shift the voice from beat-up, to love-up.

Have you ever paid attention to the way that you’re talking to yourself? Is it the way you’d let someone speak to a child? Now imagine the child is you…would you want anyone speak to little YOU like that?

If the answer is No, like I have often experienced it to be, then I encourage you to chose to shift. Take a breath, imagine your precious little child self and remember you are doing your Flawsome best, so be kind. You AND Little You deserve it!

Letting Go

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I am purging my home using author Marie Kondo’s method as a guide. The intention of this method is to live a joy-filled life. To achieve this you hold every item in your home and ask “does this spark joy?”. If the answer is yes, the item stays. If the answer is no, the item gets passed onward. You know how amazing joy feels. Now imagine how rare it can feel. Sparking joy is a high benchmark.

The awesome part is that you’re left with items that make you feel super pumped. What has felt flawed in this process has been the pain of letting go of some of these possessions.

*Side note: It’s not lost on me that I’m talking about having a ton of things when there are people in this world with nothing. “Thank You”, is my most consistent prayer.*

I noticed that there were items that did not spark joy but that I was still very attached to. Most often these attachments were coming from the past, specifically from memories of the past. My fear tells me letting go of these items, could mean losing the memories I have associated with them.

In the past, my fear of letting go of an item would talk me into keeping it. Using joy as a benchmark ups the game. You can’t let your fear overpower your joy. Your joy trumps all. So using my joy as a guide, I applied some Flawsome and decided to use my fear to create joy.

When the fear of losing a memory comes up, I think about how deeply a part of me my memories are. The lessons I learned in these memories are what make up who I am in my life today. They helped me grow, they changed the way I am, they are embedded in my heart, and in my beingness. When I acknowledge how I embody these memories, I realize I don’t need physical items to remember them. And that creates joy.

While I am applying this to physical items, this is a practice with applications all throughout our lives. You can apply it to things, people, practices and thoughts. Asking yourself, “does this spark joy”?

And then being willing to work with whatever Fear comes from the answer is a Flawsome, joy-filled way to live!

On The Daily

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This picture, from the inside of my medicine cabinet, is of a daily forgiveness practice (along with reminders that me and my inner-monster are beautiful).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times again: the freedom of forgiveness is awesome. So there are few things that can feel quite as flawed as when pain from a previously forgiven wound comes back!

Has that ever happened to you? That an old wound you thought was all healed up, shows back up and hurts all over again? I, for one, am not a fan.

A few years back when I was in a significant spiritual and emotional growth spurt I noticed I had lots of old wounds coming back to the surface. Frustrated, I consulted Google. The uncontested winner I found on how to create sustained forgiveness was to be in a daily forgiveness practice.

After exploring lots of practices I fell in love with this one which was based on an ancient Hawaiian ritual. I loved that the practice was designed to be used day and night, to rinse you off at the start and end of each day.

And then a spark of genius came! I realized I already had a well-established morning and nightly ritual: brushing my teeth. By putting these prayers up in my medicine cabinet, where my tooth brush lives, I was much more likely to say them.

After months of saying these prayers daily my heart became stronger and I felt like more of who I was made to be. Because that is the real gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness takes away fear, anger and hurt…it rinses away everything that is not the love we were made to be.

In complete honesty, over the years I have come in and out of this being a daily practice. Recently I noticed I had fallen back out. How did I notice? Oh because I’ve had all sorts of old stuff come back up that needs to be forgiven. Sur-prise!

So I am committing to you, my loves, that being the Flawsome Queen I am, I’m taking charge. I am choosing to take what I could see as a flaw (having stuff to work through and forgive) and make it an awesome reason to get back to practicing flexing my daily forgiveness muscles!

Will you join me? Let’s see how happy our lives can become as we rinse our hearts, and our teeth, on the daily!

Resting Bitch Face

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By the grace of God, good genes, and the work of an incredible orthodontist I am blessed with a beautiful smile. Nothing humbles me more than when someone compliments my smile, and tells me it’s brightened their day.

In addition to my smile, there’s another thing about my face that gets noticed. Something that I long felt was a Flaw.

My resting bitch face.

If you haven’t heard of resting bitch face before it is more than likely you have experienced it. It’s a mean, sullen, and of course, bitchy facial expression. This picture is an excellent example!

Sometimes resting bitch face happens when a person is zoned out. Other times it happens when a person is so zoned in on a conversation or event that they become oblivious to their facial expression.

As I began to facilitate, speak and coach I noticed the impact my resting bitch face was having on others and I knew I could no longer stay oblivious. Cause the impact was not always awesome.

For example, I’ve been in front of an audience and felt the energy of a room lower as I’ve watched faces mirror my resting bitch face back to me. Other times after listening to someone share and I would get feedback that my face had looked stern and scary.

Let me be clear: I don’t want to be scary! I want to inspire you to live the amazing life you were made for. Not scare you into it, with my unintentional facial expressions!

So I began to practice being intentional with my face. I started by noticing how my face physically felt when I was with people. And if I felt it in resting bitch face I started to practice whispering to myself, “soften”.

And some real magic started happening.

Reminding myself to “soften” softened more than my face. It also softened my heart, my mind and my spirit!

As all of me softened I became more deeply engaged. My deep engagement created moments of intimacy and vulnerability. It created moments where people transformed their beliefs, where they gained strength and courage because they felt heard and loved. My resting bitch faced created life-changing moments!

By becoming present to something I experienced as a flaw and using it as a powerful tool to shift myself, I’ve been able to create one of my most awesome assets. Could anything be more Flawsome than that?

My resting bitch face thinks not.

Monkeying Around

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It’s crazy that it’s been a month since this picture was taken in Ubud’s Monkey Forest! 2018 has me ON my hustle. There are lots of cool things brewing this year and I’ve been working like crazy to manifest my goals!
 
It has been Awesome. And it’s also brought up a pattern I’ve often held as a Flaw.
 
When my eyes are on a prize I can become reallll serious. I’m like a singularly focused, one-eyed (beautiful) monster. As I march towards my goals, I can often become pretty un-fun.
 
A lot of my 2018 goals revolve around my purpose, which is to inspire people to accept themselves and change the world. That’s not a small deal. So it’s not surprising that I take it seriously! With compassion, I can accept that the Flaw I feel around becoming too serious is driven by the Awesomeness of my purpose.
 
With this Flawsome perspective I am reminded in the midst of my hustling and goal getting, I am meant to be having FUN. As committed as I am to my goals, that is also as committed I am to having fun while achieving them. Because that’s how we are designed to live, with fun in our veins!
 
Do you find that you also can get a little serious when it comes to accomplishing what matters to you? If so, I encourage you to take a moment and celebrate how committed you are to your dreams! And and then express that celebration by having some fun and monkeying around. You deserve it!

Small Steps

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This week marks the four-year anniversary of beginning my journey with personal development. This picture was the first assignment for an online course I took with Brene Brown for her book The Gifts of Imperfection.
 
I can still remember how hard it was for me to write those words on my hand. While I pretended they were true, I didn’t feel them because my running list of Flaws had destroyed my list of Awesomeness. The idea of being myself, not who I thought I needed to be, was terrifying.
 
I was afraid I would never be okay with being imperfect or believe that I was enough. I was afraid but I still wrote those words: “I’m imperfect, and I’m enough”.
 
And wow am I thankful.
 
I’m so thankful to the woman in this picture for being courageous and taking that first step, even when she was afraid. Because of her courage I progressed with the work of personal development and changed my life, and the lives of countless others. Because of her courage I’ve built up my honesty, love and vulnerability muscles in trainings, books, coaching and experiences. Because of her courage I’m writing this to you now!
 
And it was all because of that small first step.
 
Sometimes it can feel like it’s a million miles between where we are and where we want to be. I can tell myself that it’s going to take so much time and work grow and expand. “It’s important, so it must be hard and time-consuming!” I tell myself.
 
But the truth is, there are lots of little ways to grow and change and expand every day. And all those little steps progressively add up to big change. It’s about deciding that we will be courageous and take the steps we need to when they show up for us to take them.
 
For me, it was writing words on my hand and beginning an online course four years ago. What will it be for YOU?

Spread Your Love

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My fish Magic died this weekend. 
 
I learned an incredible amount about myself while pet-parenting Magic. My patience grew as Magic drove me nuts with his unwillingness to eat regularly. I learned to give myself increased grace by giving up trying to do things “right”. Magic taught me the value of not comparing as I accepted that he was unlike any other fish I’ve ever had. And that that was okay.
 
As Magic’s health declined this week I started to really appreciate how much he’s brought to my life. In addition to all the lessons he has taught me, the time we spent together also happened to be during some of the most expansive, challenging and beautiful times of my life. And Magic was a witness to all of it. 
 
This past week I took the best care of Magic I possibly could. And I showered him with loads of love and acknowledgement. I can’t tell you if he felt it, but what I can tell you, FOR SURE, is that I felt it. 
 
Every time I loved on Magic, I could feel love bubbling up inside of me. I could feel my heart grow sweeter, and my body relax. I felt loved by loving him. What an incredible gift it is to love others. For them, and for us. 
 
This week I encourage you to love up on all the beings in your life. Show them how much you care about them by taking extra good care of them. Tell the beings in your life how much they mean to you. Show your love by smiling at the people who cross your path, whether you know them or not.

Speak your love.

Show your love.

Spread your love!!!
 
And notice. Notice what it does. Not just what it does for others but also notice what it does for you! Notice the way your heart and your body feel when you are spreading your love. As love is coming out of you, it’s also getting all over you. So soak it in, you deserve it!
 
As for Magic, thank you. Thank you for being such a beautiful fish and sweet friend. I am forever grateful for you. Swim in peace lil’ fishy, there’s a heaven for a G.

Treat Yourself

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Buying myself flowers, gifts and writing myself love letters has been a weekly practice for me for the past couple of years. I refer to it as “treat yo self” and it’s an important part of my life.
 
Deciding that you are going to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated by others is life defining. You are setting the bar for how the world gets to interact with you. And from that benchmark you can start to measure all other relationships and take a stand for what you need and deserve. It can be empowering, inspiring and MAGICAL.
 
I’ll admit these specific self-love practices can also really flare up my ego. She’ll start chattering things like “If you’re so lovable, why are you writing yourself love letters?” “If you’re so worthy of being given gifts, why are yougiving them to yourself?” Gracious how my ego loves to add Flaws to my Awesome!
 
It’s in these moments though that I truly see that the value of my self-love practices come to life. Because in those moments when my ego is doing her best to bring me down, I get to remind myself that not having someone else buying me flowers or writing me love letters doesn’t make me less than, and it certainly doesn’t mean I am not worthy of love and affection. I am worthy of love and affection because I AM ME. I am on this Earth with a purpose and a plan. And that alone makes me worthy. 
 
And the same applies to you, my loves! So how about this week you treat yo flawsome self? You can write yourself a love note, buy yourself a lil’ something, carve out a few minutes from your day to do something you love to do…the possibilities are endless.
 
Create the time to remind yourself how worthy you are of being showered with love and affection. BECAUSE YOU ARE!

New Year, Same You

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As you know, I love to celebrate! So you might think that I love celebrating the New Year but that hasn’t always been the case. Several times celebrating the New Year has been a reason for my mind to go wild with fear. Specifically it’s triggered my fear of failure which is something I’ve often held as one of my big Flaws.

On New Years that held major life events my mind would be consumed with thoughts about failing. Would I be a failure after college? Am I failure to be turning whatever age I will be that year and not having achieved a specific status?

In 2015 I had accomplished more than I could have possibly imagined. And I became terrified for 2016. My racing mind told me life couldn’t get any better than what I just experienced so I must have been on the brink of failure (shocker: I was wrong!).

And NOTHING though quite kicks up my fear of failing more than the concept of “New Year, New You”. My fear has been: What if I fail to become the new me that I’m supposed to become that year?

As I’ve grown in my relationship with myself I’ve come to believe that becoming a whole new person isn’t really what our purpose here is all about.

I believe that while we are ever-changing, you are always YOU. Who you are was uniquely designed and perfectly made. I believe that we’re here on Earth to elevate and grow and expand and change. And all that change is to bring us back to who we authentically already are, and have always been. Not to change us into a new person!

So what if instead of focusing on being a “new” you this year, you focused on being your “best” you this year? And every day you celebrated the progress you made towards being the best, fullest expression of who you were made to be?

I don’t know about you, but to me, that feels like a lot less pressure. It feels attainable. And it feels like something I can’t fail at doing, because it’s about practicing being ME, at my Flawsome best.

My loves, my 2018 wish for you is a year of growth, love, patience, prosperity, abundance and a year filled with you practicing being YOUR best, Flawsome, self!

Giving Gifts

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My favorite part of Christmas, not unlike most people, is the gifts. I love gifts. I love giving them, receiving them and even watching other people exchange them.

I believe the idea of gifts is more than just material goods. I believe we’ve ALL been given countless gifts by a force larger than ourselves (I refer to this force as God, though It goes by many names). We’ve been given the gifts of our bodies, our specific personality traits, our talents and our capacities to connect with one another. I believe our time on Earth is about finding the gifts within us and sharing them with the world to create Awesomeness.

There is something interesting that can happen to us when it comes to sharing our gifts though. My experience is that some of us, myself included, will sometimes hold back our gifts. Sometimes we hide our gifts as to not intimidate others. Sometimes we don’t give our gifts because we don’t feel we have the energy to give. And sometimes we convince ourselves that we don’t have any gifts worth sharing because of the stories we’ve made up about ourselves being too Flawed to be worth anything.

I’ve experienced all of those reasons in my own life. And I think the most damaging one I’ve experienced is holding back my gifts because I don’t want people to think I’m “too much”.

Despite the look on her face in this picture, my childhood self was OOZING with the gift of joy. She loved to smile, dance and make people feel special by getting her joy all over them. She was the Queen of Joy.

As an adult though I’ve often held back my joy for fear of feeling like it was too much for people to handle. But what I’ve realized is that holding back any of my gifts, particularly one as life-affirming as joy, isn’t doing anyone any good. And in fact, it might be harmful to others.

Cause that’s the thing with gifts — they grow in impact as we give them away. And better still is that when we give our gifts away we are the example to others that it’s okay for them to give their gifts away too. When I give away my joy, I’m giving you permission to give away your joy and your many other gifts. The ripple is palpable.

My Christmas wish for the world is for the courage to endlessly give away our gifts. May we unleash what’s inside of each of us to bring new life to ALL. I hear that’s the reason for the season!

Forgiveness

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This picture was taken at a “family life” retreat when I was 8 years old. At the retreat my family (well my parents) gave a talk about Forgiveness. I don’t remember the contents but I remember watching families crying and embracing. And even at my young age, I remember how the energy in the room became lighter as families forgave each other.

Forgiveness is an ultimate example of Flawsome. Because it can really suck and feel Flawed to have something happen that needs your forgiveness while at the same time it’s Awesome to experience the peace that comes from forgiveness.

I was recently blessed with the opportunity to forgive (oh trust me, it didn’t feel like a blessing at first! I am human.) I was in a situation where I felt like I had been used and wronged. For days I felt filled with subtle anger which consumed my thoughts and manifested in my body with a stomach ache and fatigue. It sucked!

A dear friend knew what I was going through and prayed for me. She asked God for my peace and comfort. I woke up the next morning and knew in my bones I needed to forgive the person I felt had hurt me.

For a multitude of circumstances I chose that speaking with the person was not the best course of action. And then I remembered something I learned from an incredible mentor: You can forgive someone without them being involved. You can write them a letter (which you don’t send), ask a friend to step in and role play as them, or even speak to them out loud, to yourself.

I chose the third option and that morning while walking the streets of my neighborhood (with my headphones on so people wouldn’t know I was talking to myself) I spoke out loud all that was on my heart. I spoke out loud all the ways I felt betrayed and of all the hurt I was feeling. I spoke out loud of how hurt I knew this person was to be acting the way they had. And I spoke out loud that I forgave them. And my heart lightened. AND IT FELT FLAWSOMELY AMAZING!

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that what they did was okay. Forgiveness means accepting that the past can never be any different. It means releasing the hurt that is holding on to your heart and empowering yourself to move forward having grown wiser & stronger through your experiences. Forgiveness is giving yourself peace.

Practicing forgiveness has been life-changing for me. And I am committed to continuing to share about my journey with forgiveness, especially the practices I’ve learned and am learning. We all deserve the peace, freedom and all the Flawsome goodness forgiveness provides!